12 Things I Wish I Knew About Life When I Was 20

Life has a way of teaching us lessons that are often painful, expensive, or just inconvenient.  Whenever I have an experience and question how I missed something or what took me so long, I make a mental note to make sure to tell my daughter so she doesn’t make the same mistake.  That said, read on for a list of 12 things (in no particular order) I would have told my 20-year old self:

1. You have a voice; use it.  Don’t let others silence you or apply pressure to conform to gender expectations.
2. Dark chocolate really is better than milk chocolate.
3. Open your eyes to the animal agriculture industry and the inherent cruelty used to provide dairy products, eggs, meat, poultry, fish, and pork to the public.  Don’t look the other way.  When someone asks you where you get your protein, tell them the same place a cow does:  from the earth. Remember:  no other animal looks to another animal’s milk for nourishment. We slaughter 80 billion animals a year which is not  sustainable.
4. There is no balance in life. Someone (including yourself) is always getting the short end of the stick. Do your best while accepting imperfection and limits.
5. Follow your intuition. If something seems too difficult or not right, move on.
6. Don’t give your dog or cat more than 1 vaccine at a time. Preferably have bloodwork done BEFORE a vaccine and then give one at a time, waiting 4 weeks between each vaccine. It takes more time and may cost more but its safer.
7. Don’t be afraid to establish boundaries with family and friends.  People don’t generally change even when faced with catastrophic consequences.  Although I am a big believer in “there’s always two sides to a story,” I am also an ardent supporter of victims of physical and mental abuse.  There is never another side to the story when an adult hits or humiliates a child; and there’s a special place in hell for those who know about abuse and do nothing.
8. Have empathy.  Everyone is going through stuff and often times, it’s not about us but about them.
9. When someone asks for help, try to help. Don’t be afraid.
10. When you have kids, remember they are their own selves; you can influence and guide them but you can’t make them someone other than who they are.  Let them be who they are and love them with all your heart.
11. Give back and not necessarily monetarily. Giving back encompasses kindness, charity, education, and more. Choose what works best for you.
12. Don’t be what other people expect you to be (people pleasing is a no win scenario).  Be yourself and do what’s best for you. You can’t take care or help others unless you take care of yourself first.